Self Identification

Five practices that keep your identity stable under error: rank values, anchor to controllable variables, define elastic boundaries, buffer failure, and keep a coherent narrative. Use them on cadence, not constantly, to avoid over-tuning.

When to use this tool

• Conflicting values or guilt-driven paralysis.
• Identity anchored to outcomes, praise, or luck.
• Life transitions where change feels like loss.
• Failures that threaten your self-concept.
• Major changes that risk narrative whiplash.

The five practices

1) Value Triage (Hierarchical Coherence)

• List your top 10 identity claims.
• Rank them 1-10 with no ties.
• Decide trade-offs: if #1 conflicts with #3, which loses? If #2 costs #5 permanently, is it worth it? If #1 requires sacrificing #7-#10, is that acceptable?
• Write: "When these conflict, I choose ___ over ___."
• Cadence: quarterly (heavy-weight).
• Prevents moral overload and incompatible ideals.

2) Control Surface Audit (Controllability Alignment)

• For each claim, name the perceptual variable that signals success.
• Classify: under my control, influence only, or external.
• Rewrite until ~70% of claims sit in direct control (e.g., "I act with integrity regardless of response" instead of "I am respected").
• Cadence: monthly, 15-20 minutes.
• Prevents chronic error and dependence on praise/status.

3) Identity Perimeter Test (Elastic Boundaries)

• For one identity claim, list allowed variations (methods, schedule, domains).
• List true boundary violations (what would make this no longer true).
• Cadence: twice per year.
• Prevents all-or-nothing self-concepts during transitions.

4) Failure Decoupling Protocol (Error Tolerance)

• After failure, write three lines only: Event, Identity invariant, Adjustment.
• Keep the adjustment structural (systems, schedule), not self-condemnation.
• Cadence: after significant failures.
• Prevents shame spirals and identity-performance fusion.

5) Narrative Rebinding (Narrative Continuity)

• Write: "Given what I knew then, my past self's choices were rational. With new information, my current path is an extension, not a rejection."
• List what stayed constant; list what evolved and why it was adaptive.
• Cadence: every 6-8 weeks or after major change.
• Prevents narrative whiplash and self-contempt for past versions.

Tips for best results

• Run the practice that matches the current pressure; avoid doing all five at once.
• Schedule reflection; action can be frequent, identity redesign should be rare.
• Your notes save to your account so you can revisit them across devices.
• Save notes so you can compare runs and spot drift in your hierarchy or boundaries.